If anyone ever wonders why I take forever to update on anything from journal to deviations, its because of my rigorous work schedule and my prick of a dad/employer. Here are a few reasons why I say this:

1. I've worked for my dad since the summer of my freshman year(06-07), and I USED to get paid. My dad paid me less than $1.50 an hour. Now since Oct.22 of 07 I haven't been paid. So there is the kindling to my furious rage.

2. My dad has been the least bit discrete man on the face of the earth. He has, in front of customers, sworn and I quote,"At home I'm your husband. Here I AM GOD!!" This was to my mother. Me and my mom have always hated my father. He also has once threatened to knock my teeth down my throat, once hit me in the head with part of a customer's vehicle while the guy was watching, and attempted to ram my head through a wall. There is the dried grass.

3. My older brother, Timothy Paul Shilling, away in 1999 of kidney failure, I was in the second grade, roughly 8 or 9yrs old.He also was born without his lower legs or arms and had only two to three "fingers" on each hand. That young man who died at 18 yrs old with all of his deformities, was my inspiration to begin drawing and got me into the arts. He only threatened me once, and that was to a reaction to some medicine he was on. That brave soul and young man has yet to have a tombstone put on his grave. This is the lighter fluid and flame to my fury.

Some people close to me like my girlfriend emoluvrchick, my friend and "mentor" FUBAR34, and others like MystykChibiFeather and Archerist have seen me in a state of rage and fury. They have heard the flames crackle and seen them dance.

Those reasons are why I'm always angry and defensive of the weak or disabled. But my father has never once been a role model to me. He also tries to make me become the mechanic workhorse just like him. Some of my art seems kind of "squirrelly" as I call it, because my hands are being torn,smashed,beaten,pulverized,soaked with cleaning agents, and other reasons.

If this was a waste of your time, I apologize for wasting your time. I had to "yell" this at the top of my lungs from the "tallest mountain top". But please don't leave negative comments about this entry and I wish you all the best. So quoting an old Irish blessing;

"May the wind rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sunshine be warm upon your face
and the rain fall softly upon your fields.
And may God hold you in the hollow of his hand until we meet
again."